Is the Mayan Calendar a Terrorist Plot?

If you watch old G.I. Joe cartoons on DVD like I do, you'll notice that Cobra (the terrorists) often use Mayan temples as bases.

Nobody has any evidence that the Mayan calendar means ANYTHING AT ALL.  It's just a circular mandala with a lot of random designs.

Are the terrorists using this artifact to fabricate an evil lie to throw the world into chaos?  I think so.

God assures me that the world will never end.  I trust Him.

So let's demand these terrorists stop terrifying people.

Politics

Yes, Sarah Palin, we SHOULD base U.S. law on the Bible. 

We SHOULD stop fighting wars, and take all the rich people's money and give it to the poor.

Oh, you didn't mean THAT part.

Timely Advice

The best advice I can give to my peers is, "Get off the weed."

Give in to Big Pharma, and welcome to the future.

Wichita's Super-Lousy Music Scene

To the musicians in Wichita, I say, for shame!  Is it so hard to be melody-oriented?  Why do you shun the artists who are paving the way?  In your minds you are so awesome, but it ain't so.  What can I say that your deafened ears will hear?

Super-Positivity

"I can do anything good."  Not bad grammar when you think about it.

And notice the clever path she takes to get back on the floor.

A Touchy Subject

I wish the media would give masturbation as much attention as it gives to sex.  In my experience, sex is not all that great, while self-gratification is.  Other good things about spanking the monkey include no STDs and no pregnancy.

Please Direct Your Angry Rants To...

If yoo have issues with my opinions, I'll be glad to connect yoo with my Supervisor.  I warn yoo, tho, he's got a bit of a God complex.  Because he IS God.