Tourizm

Tipping iz a prime reezon why tourists avoid Wichita.

The Beacon

The Wichita Eagle haz long considered Generation X az an audience they dont want or need.

But now az the Baby Boomerz ar going extinct, they ar desperate for revenue.

Triple Beam

A big thanks to WPD for cleaning up the streets with Operation Triple Beam.

Pushing Their Luck

These hobos are really pushing their luck, and honestly belong in work camps.

Metro

The metropolitan lifestyle iz so beneficial, that even the challengez becum intellectual stimulation

Lucrative

I think ther iz money to be made by permanently solving homelessness

Oceania

Wichita iz az far away from the ocean as yoo can get, making it the sanest city in the world.

Equidistant

Wichita is 1,400 miles away from both LA and NYC, making it the sanest possible place in the world to live.

A Tale of Two Cities

Wichita seemz to be a booze city, and Topeka seemz to be a junky town.

Choices

Hobos are not holy men who have been let down by society.

They are junkies who choose to spend their disability money on narcotics rather than shelter.